ed: This was originally a newsletter, but the news was too important to not continue sharing.
Baby’s first newsletter! I honestly don’t really care for these things—as evidenced by the fact I’ve until now never written one in my entire career—but the time has come as there is news to spread far and wide. Honestly, this will probably turn into a blog post at some point, but the newsletter feels more urgent!
The first bit of news I feel pressed to share with you all is that after two years of trying to do things the right way (never do this), I finally have a date for my orchiectomy or, in the common tongue, deballing. Don’t you wish it was you? The date that is, not the surgery, though you can get one of those, too, if you want. Actually, with the hurdles I had to jump like a poorly trained dog show contestant, maybe you can’t unless you want to go to the guy doing cash only on Saturday mornings at someone else’s practice with local anesthetic only. I didn’t, but different strokes, yanno?
Point being of all of that is two-fold. Firstly: stroke ’em while you got ’em boys (and gals and enbies and). If you would like to see me knowing I have testicles in my panties, you have until November 15th. From now through the end of September, I am touring New England. October and the first half of November are yet unwritten, but I’ll surely have time in Detroit and Madison, WI. I would guess I have some more travels in me, but it is very likely to be incumbent upon you to fly me out if my testicles are important to you and you need to say goodbye to them.
Secondly, I’m going to be taking some time off to recover, so I won’t be available after November 15th for a while. Normally, recovery would only take a few weeks putting me back to seeing friends in mid-December. That timeline, however, puts me right into holiday plans and my usual Winter time off. Add that all together and I will be taking off from November 16th until March. It will be so good to see you all on the other side buuuuuuut
There are few things I like less than Michigan winters, so when I do resurface, I am planning to do so in a city I’ve been considering moving to for several years: New Orleans. Life after March is pretty murky, but I suspect I’ll stay there until May sometime (birthday month!). After that who knows! I am looking at art programs across the country from Los Angeles to Rhode Island, so I could land almost anywhere. If you have a prime photography school to recommend, drop your girl a line.
So, if I may summarize (and I may; it’s my newsletter, after all): I am in New England until October after which I bounce around a little. From mid-November until March, I will be unbookable. At that point, I will be living in New Orleans, and life after that is unwritten. If you’re in Michigan and have been waiting to go on a date for whatever reason, I suggest you get on it yesterday. Lacking a time machine, today is good as well.
Much love my weeblies!
P.S. I apologize for my new ADD-med-influenced writing style. Hopefully, you enjoy it though??